Quotable Quips

•Advice•

Advice is worth what it costs-that is, nothing
Douglas MacArthur
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.
Oscar Wilde
When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
Josh Billings
In those days, he was wiser than he is now.  He used frequently to take my advice.
Winston Churchill
Give me money, not advice.
Portugese proverb
Old people like to give good advice, as solace for no longer being able to provide bad examples.
Francois, duc de La Rochefoucauld

•Age•

Youth is the best time to be rich and the best time to be poor.
Euripides
Never trust anyone over thirty
Abbie Hoffman
Everything I know I learned after I was thirty
Georges Clemenceau
When I was 18, I wanted to save the world.  Now, I'd be happy to save a hundred dollars.
Earl Wilson
God help us if the younger generation ever stops being the despair of its grandparents.
Deems Taylor
I am not young enough to know everything.
James M.Barrie
Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.
George Bernard Shaw
Men who are "orthodox" when they are young are in danger of being middle-aged all their lives.
Water Lippmann
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Ogden Nash
From middle age on, everything of interest is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Alexander Woollcoott
When you are slowed down by the doctor instead of the police, you have reached middle age.
Anonymous
Middle age: When you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.
Irvin S.Cobb
Grow up as soon as you can.  It pays.  The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty.
Hervey Allen
Longevity is one of the more dubious rewards of virtue.
Ngaio Marsh
At seventy, one is no longer on the threshold of old age.  One is just an old man.
W. Somerset Maughman
To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
Bernard Baruch
That sign of old age, extolling the past at the expense of the present.
Sydney Smith
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
H.L. Mencken

•Appearance•

It is an interesting question how far men would retain their relative rank if they were divested of their clothes.
Henry David Thoreau
I hate to see men overdressed; a man ought to look like he's put together by accident, not added up on purpose.
Christopher Morley
If we could see ourselves as others see us, we might never come back for a second look.
Anonymous
Common-looking people are the best in the world.  That is the reason the Lord made so many of them.
Abraham Lincoln